i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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