i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
