Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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