Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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