Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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