They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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