sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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