no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
