South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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