This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
