im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
