'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
