But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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