on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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