so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
