I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
