So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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