You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The Olympian is in my bed
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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