I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize