If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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