He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
