margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
