She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
