Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
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Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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