I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
