i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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