K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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