Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize