The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize