Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
