I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
