Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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