i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
