I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
