Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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