My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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