I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
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His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
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I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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