Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
