I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
