I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize