How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This baby is an asshole
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
