I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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