put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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