so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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