So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
