omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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