I think I am morally bankrupt
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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