definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
