Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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