Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
