i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
