i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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