I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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