Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
