Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You ruined the universe
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
