So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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