mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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