All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
