Kiss
Puke
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
